Breaking the seal

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Hello there, internet.  That’s right, I’m breaking the seal on this blog.  This window, the new vantage I enjoy while I’m working on things (behold the crazy teetering stacks of yarn!), is a long way away in both space and time from the last one, but despite its gaps, this site still occupies a space in my creative mind-frame.  Now that I’m finally starting to eke out some precious moments for myself, and for non-child-related work, I’ve found my thoughts drifting here more and more frequently.

Both my pregnancies and babies have caused me to retire from the internet.  Connor was the death knell for a previous website/blog project that Thomas and I had started in 2008, and Hadwyn’s appearance on the scene is to blame for my most recent year-and-a-half hiatus.  Yes, it’s true that H is only 10 months old, but I was pregnant with him for 9 months before that, all the way back in April 2013.  I don’t like to talk about my pregnancies on the internet, but they tend to take up a lot of thought-space privately.  That combination results in a shift away from online outlets.  And there you have it.

We’ve moved back to Southern Ontario from BC to be closer to our families.  The Connor & Alexis show, that was my 9-5 weekday life for 2 years has become the Connor, Hadwyn & Alexis show, and has taken on a whole supporting cast, for whom I could not be more grateful.

These moments, though, where I can sit and look out this window (there’s a tree in the wooded lot beyond my subdivision that is taller than the rest, and dead from the halfway-point upwards – I keep waiting for it to give up and collapse, but it’s damned tenacious) and putter away at the projects and ideas that occur to me faster than I can list them, are even more precious and hard to hold on to than they ever were.

It must be a sign of aging, therefore, that, although my plans continue to grow (without my participation, it seems), and my finish lines grow more distant with every new “real life” commitment, my determination is stronger, my tenacity surprising.  My stick-with-it-ness in my teens and twenties was pathetic.  And though it still sometimes feels like I never finish anything, I realize more and more that this is no longer the case.  Man, is that comforting.

So, here’s to getting old and getting stuck.  November is going to be a nice month, I think.

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